The books of August 2012

Guess what? I still haven’t signed up for internets at home. But, I possess a thumb drive, so everything is ok. And, as the Talking Heads say, “Same as it ever was.” But fingers are crossed that this will be the month I call the cable/internets people. Football starts TODAY and I don’t have the ability to watch it in my own home. Seems like a crime against nature.

Crafts:

Christmas gift crafting has been going on all month. So nothing to post right now…that’s right, no one can see his/her gift until actual gifting time. But trust me, I can see the pile of unframed items to my left and it’s only going to have more on it by the end of this week.

Movies:

I still can’t get over how many movies came out that were worth going to see in the theater this summer. Despite box office lows…and highs (AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!)…I know I’ve done my part to keep movies in production this year.

Total Recall…the new one. I thought they did a really good job updating the super cheesy Arnold version from about twenty years ago.  I rented the old one to refresh my memory and found the new one more to my liking. It was more explanatory…which I’ve lazily come to expect of films. It had a very Underworld look and feel to it since Wiseman directed. I don’t know…there are plenty of haters out there, but I ended up enjoying it.

Next up was the Norwegian film Headhunters. I noticed at Target the other day that it’s now out on DVD. Get it. Watch it. I was really blown away at how there were so many believable (and unbelievable) twists that I never truly knew who was up to what and how it would all go down. Well played, Norway. Well played. Plus, for those of you who enjoy Game of Thrones, the not unattractive Lannister brother who sleeps with his sister? Yeah, that guy is in this…no incest in the film, so, bonus!

The Bourne Legacy…what can I say about this one? Hmm. How about HURRAH FOR JEREMY RENNER? Yeah, that works. This one was so fun to watch…lots of action…and I, for one, never missed Matt Damon (this should not be a surprise for most of you). But I really, really, really hope they make more with Renner because the Pam Landy character plotline? That cannot stand. Go fix it, Renner! We heart you!

The last movie I saw in August was surprisingly not The Avengers (even though I was sorely tempted since they brought it back for Labor Day weekend). I saw Beasts of the Southern Wild. I don’t really have words to describe this movie…at least not words that make loads of sense when strung together: moving, uplifting, depressing, sad…I could go on, but maybe beautifully broken and tremendous work. It wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever watched, but it was very good and made you think…and cry if you’re a crier…which apparently I am.

Books:

I ordered some books for instant delivery on my Kindle when they had the big sale, but I’ve not gone back and started reading them yet. I bought A Wicked Snow by Gregg Olson and haven’t started it yet. For some reason, of all the paperbacks lined up in the store, it wanted to be bought.

Here are the books I read in August (cheating and continuing reading through September 2^nd because I really wanted to finish the one I was nearly done with at the time): The Impeachment of Abraham Lincoln by Stephen Carter, The Family Corleone by Edward Falco, The Kingmaker’s Daughter by Philippa Gregory, Changeling by Philippa Gregory, and Shadow of Night by Deborah Harkness.

I was so excited when I read the synopsis for The Impeachment of Abraham Lincoln. I enjoy history and “what if” histories. This is the story of what would’ve happened if Lincoln had been shot, but not killed, and Johnson had been killed instead. But really? It’s not that at all. It’s the most boring story ever about a history that never happened while focusing on two law clerks. The clerks, one white male and one African-American female, spend time discovering the plot behind the impending impeachment. The storyline about the female being not only one of the first women in the legal field, but also being African-American was interesting, but if that was supposed to be the real story, it should've been more of the focus. I really didn’t want to finish it, but it was like a two-week investment of my time. I was determined. It picked up ever so slightly near the last 100 or so pages. Not worth your time. (Note: major kudos to whoever titled the book because the title really screams "Read this! It'll be great!")

I love The Godfather movies and books. LOVE them. When they had a contest a few years ago and published what happened in between the films, I was hooked! So when I kept seeing The Family Corleone at the library, I put it on my request list. While it wasn’t as bad as some other books I’ve read, I again felt ripped off. This one focuses on Sonny Corleone when he’s in his late teens. Sonny’s not my guy. I enjoyed reading some of the back-stories for the older guys and stuff, but I am never really a fan of anger because you’re an angry, entitled teen. So this one, while entertaining and following along in the tradition of the Corleones, it wasn’t my thing.

The Kingmaker’s Daughter is the last (I think?) installment of the Cousins’ War. You might remember that I liked the first one, was ok with one of the other two, and hated one of them. This one was decent. It took two sisters and had them married off to would be kings of England by their father.  All of it ended horribly, of course, but this one was a bit more believable…how the rivalry and reconciliations might have been…the horrible scheming for status at court. Philippa Gregory can definitely be hit or miss. This one was more on the hit side, but with sections of boring.

Philippa Gregory is now also writing a teen/young adult series. The first one out is called Changeling. It starts out interesting…a young monk is pulled from duty basically for doing math. The higher-ups send him as part of a mission to discover the truths among the mysteries. He ends up at a convent, looking into the devilment that’s come over the nuns. This part of the story was ok. As he solves the mysteries put before him, he receives the next part of his journey direction. So, the second part of this book had him searching out a werewolf who killed a small child long ago. This part of the book was so bland. I’ve read enough werewolf stories and there’s still new ground to cover. This didn’t do it. I’m pretty sure I won’t be reading the follow up books in this series.

Following her A Discovery of Witches, Deborah Harkness kept me spellbound once again (heh…spellbound…see what I did there?) with the follow up book, Shadow of Night. (And yes, as an 80s person, I totally can’t say the title without wanting to sing Pat Benetar’s Shadows of the Night.) Shadow picks up EXACTLY where Discovery left off. Our witch and vampire couple time travel back to Elizabethan England. The history she wove into this book was fabulous! The vampire had some very notable and notorious friends. They travel to France and to Prague and back to their own time eventually. Usually at the end of each section, there’s a chapter taking place in modern day…it’s not always labeled, so sometimes it’s a little jarring since one minute you’re discussing Doctor Faustus with Christopher Marlowe and the next you’re at Sotheby’s auction house after hours making purchases. I love the conversations with Queen Elizabeth! I feel that Harkness really did a great job weaving the history and the people into the story. Now I have to wait…probably like a year…for the next one.

So, not so many books this time, but I really did a lot of crafting…I promise!

The books of July 2012

Guess what? I still haven’t signed up for internets at home. But, I possess a thumb drive, so everything is ok.

Crafts:

I worked on a few crafty items this past month. I finished an item for a different blog, so once that’s up and live, I’ll talk about it here. The other project I worked on was a knitted dishtowel that has a frog pattern worked into it. It’s kind of hard to see, but here ya go:

I made it from the pattern and I still can't totally see it...not even when I squint.

I’m starting to think about Christmas gifts I want to make, so I may be posting less and less crafty goodness until post-holidays. Don’t want to ruin anyone’s surprise!

Movies:

There were still plenty of good movies for me to see…even after all the ones I saw last month! First up was Ted. It was offensive, crude, profane, nostalgic, heart-warming, and hilarious all at the same time. While I wouldn’t recommend it for conservative folk or children, I plan to watch it over and over again once it’s out on DVD. I know I laughed through some crucial hilarity and I need a do-over.

My groups got separated and I ended up having to see Magic Mike twice. I am not even going to apologize for it. Joe Manganiello didn’t have a large role, but he made up for in abs…and moves…and, well if you like to look at extremely pretty male bodies in motion, then this is the movie for you! If you like movies that have a small, underlying plot and an attraction story with actors who look so good you could cry (remember Out of Sight?), then this is the movie for you. If you like only foreign documentaries on stopping world atrocities, this might not be your movie…unless you’re taking a break from all that seriousness.

Dark Knight Rises. First off, watching the news the morning after the midnight opener was so sad. I don’t like for that much reality to intrude on my main escape from said reality. My heart goes out to all the victims and their families and friends. And, as much as I’ve knocked Christian Bale for his public persona in the past, I feel the need to give him mad props for going to the town and not making it about him being there, but keeping it about solace and the victims. A class move from an occasionally not so classy guy. Well done.  In the wake of all of that, the movie was pretty anti-climactic for me. It was too long and loud enough to give me a headache. Was I glad I saw it? Yes…the last 40 minutes or so made it worthwhile, but I most likely could’ve waited until it was on DVD.

And yes, I saw The Avengers again because I feel it slowly leaving our town and I won’t be able to see it again until September 25 when it comes out on DVD. Don’t judge me.

Books:

I got The Confession by John Grisham, but again, I’m mostly still reading things from my stash, my friends, or getting items from the library. The pre-order/order from Amazon came in so I have Size 12 ad Ready to Rock by Meg Cabot, Here Lies Bridget by Paige Harbison, Off the Menu by Stacey Ballis, I’m Kind of a Big Deal and Other Delusions of Adequacy and It’s Not Me, It’s You by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor. I got one other book, but I might be giving it as a Christmas gift, so I haven’t decided if I should list it or not.

I read some really great books this month (and had a special reaction to one in particular): The Red Necklace by Sally Gardner, Girl Walks into a Bar...: Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle by Rachel Dratch, A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness, Rapture by Lauren Kate, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir) by Jenny Lawson, Here Lies Bridget by Paige Harbison, The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, and Off the Menu by Stacey Ballis.

I’d been listening to The Red Necklace as read by Tom Hiddleston (see: reason #9 to love The Avengers; reason #5 to love Thor; reason #3 to watch a lot of British Masterpiece Theater DVDs; reason #1 to rent The Deep Blue Sea; and reason to live, mine). I realized I had become bewitched by his voice and had no idea what he’d been saying somewhere around chapter 5. The book is actually not bad, although I think I prefer his dulcet tones. The book is about a gypsy boy and his adventures and coming of age in and out of revolutionary France. I don’t really know how to describe it…it’s not totally history or adventure; it’s not totally magic or theatre; it’s not totally France or Britain; but it’s all of these things with some mystery and romance to boot. I enjoyed it.

Rachel Dratch’s book was quite funny and very, very hopeful. As a single lady of a certain age, it was nice to read a book about someone close to my age group, struggling with dating and life and still managing to fumble through and come out looking, well, not rosy, but certainly not like the dirt around the rose in the ground. Some parts made me laugh out loud and a couple of parts made me cry…she warns you about that though, so it’s ok.

A Discovery of Witches is a really, really, really great book! I couldn’t put it down…even when I realized that the last library patron had essentially booby-trapped the book for me. How, you ask? Well I envision it as he or she rubbing his or her cat over each page, individually, to capture the maximum amount dander (and occasional fur) the pages could hold…and then having the cat lick every available surface of the book at any given time until it was returned to the library and put on hold for me. The sinus and allergy reaction to this was epic. EPIC. But I had to finish it. I was so engrossed in the storyline that I wanted to get through the whole book…and once I realized it was the allergic reaction catalyst (heh…catalyst), I tried to read faster so I could be done. If you can find a clean copy, I highly recommend it. There are witches and vampires and daemons and they even hint at werewolves. It takes place mostly in Oxford, England, but ventures into the states and to France. The author took a lot of time developing these characters and she did it well. The next book in the trilogy is already out and I can’t wait to read it. I’m hoping for a dander-free copy this time.

Rapture was the last installment (I sincerely hope) of the Fallen series by Lauren Kate. In this last book, we get the full history of all of the angels and why the main two characters were cursed to live as they have been for centuries. It was a decent wrap up and I’m glad I read the series…it was kind of a lot to take in because of the curse consistently and continually messing with them for so long and you having to read about all those doomed loves over and over again. It was nice to see a conclusion, and, spoiler-ish, I wasn’t sad when it was over.

Jenny Lawson. She is a bloggess. She is, in fact, THE Bloggess. Have you ever read http://thebloggess.com? No? Stop freaking reading this and go over there now. It’s way funnier than I could ever be! And famous people send her pictures of themselves doing inane things! And giant, metal chickens, saving you from towels! GIANT. METAL. CHICKENS. (Knock, knock… for those in the know.) This book, at times had sadness, but most of it, well, my friends were on the lake in single-person paddle-boats and could hear me laughing from the dock. Out loud. I was outside, alone, laughing out loud and I couldn’t stop. Read her blog and then go buy her book. Support her. She is awesome.

Here Lies Bridget was on a summer reading list a while ago. It was a fun teen book that passed a few hours. Bridget was the meanest of the mean girls…pretty much everyone feared her. She took no responsibility for her actions or her words. Once she makes a very bad decision, she gets shown, Scrooge style, how things truly were and she can ether make amends or get out forever. 

The Night Circus. I can’t even. This might be the best book I’ve read this year…and I’m saying that in July, effectively cutting out the upcoming five months when I know I’ve got some really good things to read! It was beautifully written. Just beautiful. The level of detail may put some of you off, but it’s described that way so you can picture all of the circus elements in your head. The simple version of the plot would be two magicians compete within a circus without knowing what the game is or how it will end. That’s it, and yet it’s nowhere close to describing it properly. The night circus is ONLY open at night. Everything is black and white except for the attendees. The tents, the performers’ clothing, the props, all of it: black and white. And yet, what the circus itself is, is anything but black and white. It’s a game; it’s a lifestyle; it’s a career; it’s love; it’s death; it’s life; it’s joy; it’s sorrow; it’s youth; it’s control; it’s wild abandon. If you don’t have this book…and have not bought it by the holidays, there’s a really good chance this is what you’re getting from me. I absolutely loved it. I think my only complaint was that it ended in a way that seemed more black and white than it should’ve been…but that doesn’t change my mind.  Definitely time well spent.

And finally, I read Off the Menu. If you read the Jen Lancaster books like I told you, then you already know about Stacey Ballis. She is Lancaster’s BFF. Their blogs and madcap antics? Are hysterical. This book is very, very good. A chef’s assistant has good friends, an extremely demanding boss, a great family, and a loving doggie. The main character checks the dating site to make fun of the people they send her (since I also have been known to do this, I had no problem believing that others do it as well…don’t judge) and eventually runs across one that seems like a possibility. Their relationship plays out via email and then in person and the way her life adapts because she was open to letting him in is amazing. It was a great end of the month book…it’s positive and funny and you want to be friends with the character and her friends. If you already have The Night Circus, maybe I’ll buy you Off the Menu. At the end of the book are some awesome recipes that they talk about…some even from famous chefs! I pre-ordered the book in hopes of winning lunch with Stennifer. Sadly I did not win but maybe next release? Cross your fingers for me!

The books of June 2012

I still haven’t signed up for internets at home. Once again, it’s just me and a Word document that I will put on a thumb-drive and transfer to my blog. Not overly tech, but definitely some tech involved.

Crafts:

Finally did some crafts! Hurrah! I made one for a friend of a friend who apparently has a thing for Mexican food. 

And really? Who doesn't feel this way?

The other was for an Iron Craft challenge. I’d taken some time off from those to move and it ended up making me sad to not create things, so I made something for the red, white, and blue challenge. The only stipulation was to use two of the color choices (I used red and white), so I was able to create a cross-stitch from my favorite quote from a book I read this month, Jen Lancaster’s Jeneration X. 

Truer words never written...or cross-stitched...

Movies:

This is quickly turning into the summer of movies. I’ve seen at least one new movie every weekend, and there will be more to come! Snow White and the Huntsman looked like it would be really, really good. Charlize Theron was very believable and her costumes and the magical imagery surrounding here were amazing. Chris Hemsworth (aka Thor) was also really good…really believable. And then we see Kristen Stewart. Bless her heart. She nearly ruined the whole thing for us. It boggles the mind to think that we were supposed to take her seriously when she gave the “rousing speech”…ugh. Not so much.

My friends seem to be mixed in their reviews of Prometheus. I enjoyed it. Was it the best thing ever? No. I thought we went over this…best thing ever is the Avengers. But, as sci-fi flicks go, I thought it was a plausible storyline and gave you plenty to think about afterward…and you’re able to see the leap from it to Alien. Overall, decent job…probably not necessary to have seen it on the big screen…more than likely better to watch it and then Alien and Aliens in a row.

Rock of Ages. Eighties. Rock’n’roll cheesy goodness. This movie was so much fun that I can not wait to own it and sing along loudly in the privacy of my own home. I am no fan of Tom Cruise, but he really commits to his roles and he was perfect as the rock star. Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand were hysterical. This is very much a feel good movie and you’ll want to see it more than once.

Brave was very sweet. I mean, seriously, I think we all know Pixar’s not going to put out something crappy. It was a strong story about mothers and daughters…and bears. Very entertaining.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I know, I know. People always say it, but the book really was better for this one. Don’t get me wrong, this movie was totally great! But what I loved about the book was how effortlessly it wove history and vampire hunting together…and made complete and utter sense. Here is was kind of like, you know who this guy is, well, here are some vampires and he’s gonna kill them. Which is fine, it was still a good story and the people playing the vampires were some of my favorite actors…and the way they did include history was good. But I think I was looking forward to bits that just weren’t included. Still, I’d see it again…and read it again, but I think I must have given the book to someone else because it hasn’t shown up in the unpacking.

On the last day of June, I saw Moonrise Kingdom. Those of you who know me well have heard me go on and on about how amazing I think Wes Anderson is. Well, he’s done it again. This movie was funny, sad, quirky, complex, simple, and normal all at the same time. This kid can tell a story and keep you completely invested in it the whole time and even when you think you know, you don’t quite know. I highly recommend this…as well as the DVD when it comes out because his movies always have extensive extras.

Books:

Not a lot of purchases this month. I bought the new Charlaine Harris and the Jenny Lawson books. Mostly I’m still reading things from my stash or getting items from the library. Oh! I did pre-order/order a stash of books from Amazon, but I won’t get them until mid-July: the new Meg Cabot, the new Stacey Ballis, a couple of chick-lit/memoir-type books, and one other one that I can’t remember right now…I’ll list them for real in July.

This month’s choices started strong and then I did something stupid…I picked up book six of a series that should’ve stopped at book three. Anyway I read: The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest by Steig Larsson, Jeneration X: One Reluctant Adult's Attempt to Unarrest Her Arrested Development; Or, Why It's Never Too Late for Her Dumb Ass to Learn Why Froot Loops Are Not for Dinner by Jen Lancaster, A Shore Thing by Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi, Blankets by Craig Thompson, Deadlocked by Charlaine Harris, Kiss of Night by Debbie Viguié, The Song Remains the Same by Alison Winn Scotch, and An Echo in the Bone by Diana Gabaldon.

The last of the Millennium Trilogy was so good. I’d already seen the Swedish movies, but I waited for the book to come out the same size as the other two and then I moved, so it was a while before I got to it. There were definitely some differences between the book and the movie (as with the other two books) but both versions are solid story-telling. I didn’t want to put this down and I am very sad that we may never see any more of Salandar’s story. She’s kind of awesome.

I love Jen Lancaster’s blog and books. This was no exception. I laughed out loud many times while reading it. Come on! It inspired me to make the cross-stitch quote pictured above…what more persuasion do you need to read this book?! Read all of her books! Well, first finish this post and then go read her books. She is consistently entertaining.

Ah, Snooki. How I’ve missed my weekly dose of crappy, crappy television. A Shore Thing is about as close as you can get to watching an episode of Jersey Shore without having to actually watch it. Although, it’s written pretty well (yes, of course she had help) and not nearly as chaotic as watching them all self-destruct on air. It’s an extremely fluffy read…kind of perfect for the beach or something. I doubt it’s going to win a Pulitzer, but it had some funny moments. The characters aren’t meant to be her and J-Woww exactly, but you could see them represented very easily. Fun, but not necessary…or recommended really.

Blankets is a graphic novel that my friend loaned to me. I read it over a couple of hours one afternoon. It was one of the more interesting graphic novels I’ve read that wasn’t a known comic. Basically, the artist draws about his life and coming to terms with his spirituality and talent in a small town…I don’t want to spoil any plot, but y’all should know that I liked it a lot.

Deadlocked was awesome! I read recently that it’s the next to last book in the Sookie Stackhouse series. That makes me happy and sad at the same time. I love reading them, but it’s been a bit ridiculous (in a good way) for a while now.  Again, no spoilers, but I kind of felt like the end of this one had been building up throughout the series, so I’m pretty excited to see how it closes out. I’m really glad the show deviated from the books because now it’s like there are two sets of stories that I can see these people acting out in my head. Whoever does the casting for the HBO series is pretty much a genius.

Kiss of Night was a pretty standard “good” vampire versus “bad” vampire story. It seemed that it would have a follow-up book, but I haven’t looked for one. The main character went to Prague (I think…somewhere like that at least) for her grandmother’s funeral and found out that (a) there are vampires, (b) her grandmother and her grandmother’s family had been mixed up in vampire stuff for centuries, (c) there was a war coming between the good and bad vampires (all of whom seem to be named after the main Angels mentioned in the Bible…which I’m sure will come into play if there is a sequel), and (d) damsels are in distress and need to be rescued. As I said, standard. Not a bad read at all, just not overly memorable if you’re wanting a good vampire novel to, ahem, sink your teeth into…<ducks>

The Song Remains the Same was another good one from this author. The main character is one of two survivors (the other is a B actor who will become more famous because of his survival) in a plane crash. Her family rallies around her to try and help her regain her memory, which is totally gone. Not all of their stories are what they seem and the book is spent unraveling truth from lies and finding out who’s really there for her and who’s only out for himself or herself. This one’s pretty emotional, but well done.

Last, and painstakingly least, the latest of the Outlander series, An Echo in the Bone. UGH! This book is 814 long pages. Very long. In small typeface. UGH! I loved Outlander and I liked to two following it, but it has gotten completely ridiculous. The storyline is split more now as Claire’s daughter, Brianna, is in 1980s Scotland with her husband, Roger, and their two kids, Jem and Mandy.  Claire and Jamie (and Young Ian, Rollo the wolf dog, Fergus, his family, John Gray and some of his family) are in the time of the American Revolution. Standout historical character here: Benedict Arnold. These are just getting harder to follow. I could’ve sworn they were in the civil war, but apparently I forgot a chunk of storyline. Anyway, most everyone’s still alive, despite constant peril. The more interesting parts are now in the 1980s with Roger researching how the time traveling works and how they are finding more and more spots where the traveling can occur. About two-thirds through the book, Roger’s great-great-great-great…many greats…grandfather, I guess, shows up…the one he met before who was pretty dodgy. So they’re leery of him and in it, missing the real danger…the real danger that happens RIGHT AT THE VERY END OF THE DARN BOOK SO THAT YOU HAVE TO READ YET ANOTHER TOME OF CRAP! And Claire becomes super-further-entangled into past craziness with John Gray and seriously, only the last few chapters are what you need to read if you want to be caught up for book seven…which I believe is coming later this year or early next year. I read the last 150-or-so pages much more rapt than the rest of the book. It seems like it took me ages to get through the whole thing (I stopped and read the last two books I talked about after I’d started this one cause I was bored with it)…I just hope this next one is the last because if it ends with all parts of the families in epic cliffhangers again, I will be very, very angry that I’ve kept reading them. At some point, people need to catch a break. Even freaking Scottish time-travelers!

The books of May 2012

It’s taking me a while to get around to writing this one. Mostly because I moved last month and I haven’t signed up for internets yet at home. I had to compromise…a night off from watching DVDs and going through stuff for a night with just me and a Word document that I could put on a thumb-drive and transfer to my blog.

In the midst of the packing, moving, unpacking, organizing, perusing, and repacking, I went to see a few movies. I’ll talk about the last viewings first. Men in Black 3 was surprisingly entertaining. For the series, I thought it was a plausible storyline and that Josh Brolin. Holy crap! He really, really studied up on Tommy Lee Jones and did an outstanding job. Plus, you know, Emma Thompson. The woman really just can’t do wrong. Also, it was better than MIB 2…which isn’t saying much.

Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows was kind of a let down. I mean, sure, it was funny in places and it had great music. It certainly had the cheesiness I expected having been a fan of the remake TV series in the early 90s. The original, also supremely cheesy, had its moments, but I never sat down and watched the whole thing…just some of it. That said, it was not a bad movie at all. It just had the sad misfortune of following…THE AVENGERS!

I cannot say enough great things about The Avengers. I saw it more than once and I still can’t narrow it down.  I loved just about everything about it. The storyline? The actors? The dialog? The hotness of the actors? All of it was amazing…HULK SAY ALL OF THINGS ABOUT MOVIE GREAT! The only downside, if you can call it that, is I seem to have developed a massive crush on the villain. Tom Hiddleston’s Loki might be the most charming villain on the big screen.

Wait, this blog is about books, isn’t it? The stuff is supposed to be less word count-y. OK. So I did manage to buy one book because I knew that once I had the place semi in order, I wanted to read it as soon as possible, so I bought Jen Lancaster’s Jeneration X: One Reluctant Adult's Attempt to Unarrest Her Arrested Development; Or, Why It's Never Too Late for Her Dumb Ass to Learn Why Froot Loops Are Not for Dinner.

This month wasn’t a heavy reading month. The library fulfilled all of my needs…and then when I unearthed a box full of cheesy romance novels, I decided to re-read one of those to round out the month.  I read: The Balkan Escape by Steve Berry (the short story I bought on my Kindle last month), Cosmopolis by Don DeLillo, The Naked Truth: A Memoir by Danielle Staub, Hiding from My Reality: My Story of Love, Loss, and Finding the Courage Within by Taylor Armstrong, Peter and the Vampires (Volume One) by Darren Pillsbury, The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides, Unholy Night by Seth Grahame-Smith, and Hearts Aflame by Johanna Lindsey.

The Balkan Escape was a short adventure of the female lead in the Cotton Malone books by Steve Berry. It's interesting and gives the background for one of the full novels. Cassiopeia meets the Russian who appears as the kidnapped man who they have to save...I think in The Emperor's Tomb? It was actually at the end of the paperback I had read, but at the time, I didn't feel like reading it.

I checked out Cosmopolis because I saw the trailer for the movie that’s coming out…starring everyone’s favorite sparkley, angsty vampire, RPattz. I can see him in this role. The story takes place in a very tech-filled world where information and money and sex seem to be the only outcomes of any situation. Oh, and death, mostly through murder in this book. I can’t say that it’s a book I think I’ll cherish in my memory, but I think it was written to translate extremely well to film. That said, I’m looking forward to seeing how they handle those constant streams of information on the big screen.

Yes, I know. I KNOW. Shut up already. I watch the Real Housewives. I’m not overly particular about what city they need to be from either. I think Jersey and Atlanta are my favorites, but I admit to enjoying the OC and Beverly Hills too. I couldn’t watch DC; New York tends to get on my nerves (especially without Betheny); and Miami was actually too nuts for me (this from the girl who likes Jersey and Atlanta…shocking!). Having seen these shows, I was prepared to be very vocal in my dislike for these books. Danielle Staub’s book was, um, well…it just wasn’t good. It pained me to read it because I could picture her face and could almost smell the lies. I don’t know. Who knows what’s real and what isn’t. But this really seemed like a couple hundred pages to make herself seem like a better person. She did address the Cop Without A Badge book that slammed her in the past…and admitted that she was an addict and an “exotic dancer”, but she frequently bashed the other Jersey housewives without always naming them directly. It was like watching a less entertaining version of the show…based solely on the one character that you don’t really like. I had an entirely different reaction to Taylor Armstrong’s book. She also had issues out the wazoo (where exactly is the wazoo?) and she continually put herself in horrible, horrible male situations. The last one physically and emotionally abusing her so much that if she had stayed any longer, he probably would’ve ended up killing her instead of himself. It was a very sad story, but it had a slight uplift to it. She seems to have learned how to ask for help and how to cope with things she didn’t think she could. So, color me surprised, but overall it was a decent read.

Peter and the Vampires (Volume One) is a collection of Pillsbury's kids stories about Peter, his mom, his little sister, his best friend Dill, and his grandfather. There were four stories. The first, Peter and the Dead Men, was about burned zombies who live in the garden. The second was Peter and the Vampires...the vampires being two girls from Peter's class, one who is weird and has a crush on Peter. The third one is Peter and The Changeling. While Peter and Dill are watching Peter's little sister, she gets switched with a troll. The fourth one was Peter and the Swamp Monster. Peter and Dill went to a water park and ended up in the swamp and having to face a monster. These are all very cute and I'd recommend the series for tweens.

The Marriage Plot. I was on the waiting list for this book since last October. And here’s the thing...a month later, I remember that I read it, but not much else. I know that I laughed some…and I got into the story well. It was better than Middlesex, which I did not like at all, but perhaps not as good as The Virgin Suicides (loved it!). So far, Eugenides and I are having a love/hate relationship. But he’s a master at the game…he takes long enough to write the next one that I forget if I liked the last one much or not. Sorry if you were looking for an actual review of this one…I really…OH! Wait. I do remember and I did like it. It was the girl who dated the guy with schizophrenia or something and he had to take lithium and he didn’t like the religious studies guy who was crushing on his girl. The religious studies guy eventually went to India and shaved his head. It’s a good book…but not for everyone. I think there’s something about his style that both draws and repels me…hence the whole love/hate thing.

I was really excited about Unholy Night. I loved Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter! I love how he takes these known “histories” (one being historical fiction and one being real history about a real person) and slips all the supernatural stuff in like it totally belongs there. You want to slap your forehead and say, “D’oh! Of course he was a vampire hunter! Of course vamps over-run the south and the government. Totally fits! Slave as blood donors? Well duh!” And I’ll stop before I put in a big spoiler for those who haven’t read it. Suffice it to say, those two books are genius to me.  So I checked out his latest book, Unholy Night. This one was about how the three wisemen were actually three of the worst criminals and they ended up escaping certain death and escorting Jesus, Mary, and Joseph to a safe destination. There wasn’t really a lot of supernatural in this one…perhaps why I wasn’t as fond of it. There were some zombie-like things, but mostly it was soldiers and small miracles. Which, you know, is cool and all, but it didn’t translate as well as the other books. My best advice here is that if you really want to read a different take on biblical stories, please buy (don’t check it out because you’ll want to keep it on your shelf) Christopher Moore’s Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal instead. It is hysterical.

While I was unpacking, I found a box full of cheesy, milky-white-shouldered and bared-male-chested covered books. Ah, romance novels. You’re all so stupid, but we all read you anyway. My freshman year of college, a friend from home work in the public library. She was shelving in the romance section and was intrigued by the cover of Johanna Lindsey’s Hearts Aflame. She read the first chapter. She photocopied that first chapter and checked out the book. While reading the book, she sent me the photocopy and after reading the one chapter, I made a special trip to the used bookstore and got my own copy of the book. I’ve been a fan of her books ever since. They’re formulaic, but witty. And since this was the first one I’d ever read, I didn’t get the formula. I just thought, “Vikings” and “Hot”. If you’re ever in the mood for a romance novel that would never ever happen in a billion years, please check out one of hers…maybe one of the early Malory novels. The men are all handsome and brawny rogues and the women are all strong-willed, smart, and beautiful. There will be a conflict between them to keep them apart, but they’ll find ways around it…and in that case, the journey is always hot. Enjoy!

The books of April 2012

Another month has completely flown by me! I realize that there are still most of today and all of tomorrow left in April, but I decided that today would be reading optional, so time to blog.

I saw some more movies. I checked and it looks like I'm planning to see a movie every weekend from now through mid-August, minus one. Everything looks so entertaining! This month I saw Wrath of the Titans (sadly not awesome), Cabin in the Woods (best horror genre movie ever!), Wild and Weird with the Alloy Orchestra playing for all the silent shorts at Ebertfest, and John Cusack's latest, The Raven (better than I expected and it made me want to re-read all of Poe's stories).

I managed to squeeze in some crafts. First up was another custom item I asked weelittlestitches to design for a friend's birthday. She loves Romy and Michele, so I thought maybe she should be able to see them every day:

Let's fold scarves!

One of my BFFs made a request for a cross-stitch. I found the pattern in an old book I had and then stitched up the saying she wanted:

Remember to put the key where you can find it.

The IronCraft challenges this month were good. Challenge 7 was "Freshen Up". I took it a little outside the box between their description and what I had just made for BFF. I decided to put a favorite saying to stitch and found (in that same book) something I could make for myself so I look at it every day as a way to think differently about my life:

A cute reminder not to be a dud.

Challenge 8, "Love Your Mother...Earth" was a recycle challenge. I went back to Erica Domesek's P.S. - I Made This book and followed the instructions for the fringe t-shirt scarf:

This scarf is a good idea, but I'll probably never wear it.

Lastly, I was commissioned to make two of the following:

Does this even need a caption?

In book news, I bought one mini-book for $0.99 on the Kindle this month...and downloaded lots of free books. But I didn't buy a physical book.

This month I read Sizzling Sixteen, Smokin' Seventeen, and Explosive Eighteen all by Janet Evanovich. I also read: Good Christian Bitches by Kim Gatlin, Beauty and the Werewolf by Mercedes Lackey, The Garden Intrigue by Lauren Willig, The Red Queen by Philippa Gregory, The Lady of the Rivers by Philippa Gregory, Ragnarok: The End of the Gods by A. S. Byatt, The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and Secret Rage by Charlaine Harris. (Also, this new layout for composition from Blogger? Totally not user friendly.)

All three Evanovich books were the same as the other fifteen. Stephanie Plum gets bonds cases, can't figure out which man she wants to be with the most (Morelli or Ranger), deals with her crazy family, and generally bungles cases with Lula until she accidentally solves those cases. Always fun reads. Whenever nineteen comes out, I see me sitting on the balcony, reading with my sunglasses on until it's too dark to be outside reading.

I read GCB because I read that it's the inspiration for the show on ABC. It's extremely, loosely based on the book. I don't know...I didn't really enjoy the book, possibly because the characters had already been developed very differently for me by the TV show. It wasn't bad; I just think you have to choose which one you prefer...I prefer the show with Kristin Chenoweth and Annie Potts.


Beauty and the Werewolf was another book in Mercedes Lackey's 500 Kingdoms series. I really like this series because it takes the same fairy tale you've heard a million times and messes with it. Because it's a series, there's a driving force called "The Tradition" that's constantly trying to push people into the story characters. Each kingdom falls under the realm of a fairy godmother (some more powerful than others) and she has to work to keep the magic contained and the people unharmed as much as possible. This new take on Beauty and the Beast has the girl attacked by the werewolf so they can be thrown together. She soon learns that the werewolf thing is a curse and the guy wasn't born that way. So while she's falling for him, that doesn't break the curse. He's also scholarly and has turned to learn about magic, so he's a lower-level wizard...she learns from him and her local godmother and is on her way to becoming a sorceress. It was a very different take on the story...as are all of these books in the series. And, there are always little jokes on pop culture in Lackey's books of this series that I enjoy finding. If you want to read this, I'd point you to The Fairy Godmother first since it's book one of the series and kind of explains how things will work throughout the series. All of these books are good.

The latest installment from Lauren Willig has our current day graduate student researching one of the Pink Carnation's male spies...the poet who appears in a few other books. He ends up working with an American to find out that Napoleon has hired Robert Fulton to create a new weapon for him to attack England. Of course, the American and the poet fall for each other while working on a horrible masque/play for Napoleon's house. In current time, the grad student and her British boyfriend have problems with his family and a film crew at his home. Turns out, there's a treasure that his uncle/cousin has been after the whole time to add more intrigue to the story. As always, as soon as I was done, I wanted to read another one. She's going to need to start writing faster!

The two Philippa Gregory books are part of the Cousin's War series. Last month I read The White Queen about Elizabeth Woodville. The Red Queen was about Margaret Beaufort of the House of Lancaster. I did not like her at all. She was constantly harping on things being her God-given right...one husband even pointed out how nice it must be that God supported each of her hair-brained schemes. She wanted her son on the throne as he was the Tudor heir. She and her one-time brother-in-law, Jasper Tudor, fought valiantly to put her son on the throne. It was pretty much a chore to read because she was so very unsympathetic. The Lady of the Rivers was about Jacquetta, Elizabeth's Woodville's mother. She was French and had briefly been friends with Joan of Arc while her family held her for the French, knowing that once the matriarch died, her uncle would hand Joan to the English to be killed. Jacquetta had a bit of "the sight" and sometimes she could see people's futures, but not always in a way she could understand, despite her first husband's training. This one was more interesting because Jacquetta was full of life and took her fate into her own hands and didn't rely on others to do her bidding. I think there's a fourth book for the series coming out this summer. If you like this time period, read the first and third books, but skip The Red Queen. That one was far too irritating.

Ragnarok was a good book! I've found Byatt to be hit or miss with me, but this was definitely an interesting one. A child in England during the second world war finds a book about the fall of the Norse gods and uses her reading to deal with the pain and loss of war. The imagery was pretty amazing. It was hard to put this small book down.

I read The Secret Garden so long ago, that I could barely remember it all. I downloaded it on to the Kindle since it was free and let it be my first venture into reading on an electronic device. Turns out, I still love books, but I'm also pretty happy with this device as well. It definitely cuts back on the clutter issue. Anyway, I don't remember my original reactions to this story, but I did like it this time around. It ended up happily and neatly, with everything fixed...you know, except for the gardener still having back pains and the family of fourteen (!) still being poor. Despite the garden descriptions, it didn't make me look forward to going outside in the summer. Shocking, I know.

I found Secret Rage on the shelf at the library while looking for something else. I like Charlaine Harris's Sookie books, so I thought I'd give it a try. It was a short, brutal read about a series of rapes in a town in Tennessee. The characters were very interesting and I always love a good southern story. I could've done without some of the fine details, but I knew it was a "ripped from the headlines" type of story so I was prepared. All that was missing were the Law and Order gong sounds at the end of each chapter. 

I've got a lot on my plate for May, so I might not be reading as much. But I'll definitely have some movies to talk about and some other stuff. Have a good rest of April!